Why Summer Still Feels Exhausting

As working mothers juggling corporate demands and family life, we carry an invisible weight, the constant mental orchestration of everyone's needs, schedules, and logistics. This cognitive burden, known as mental load, is why we feel exhausted even when we're not physically doing every task ourselves.

We expect summer to bring relief. Lighter school schedules, maybe some vacation time, a chance to breathe. And yet, year after year, we find ourselves wondering:

"Why do I still feel so drained when things are supposed to be easier? And why does it feel like I'm falling behind professionally while everyone else moves ahead?"

If this question hits close to home, you're not alone. What follows isn't just empathy, it's a research-backed roadmap that acknowledges both the complexity of what you're managing and your capacity to navigate it differently.

I still remember that morning last summer when I woke up, looked at my husband, and just wanted to cry. I felt so overwhelmed and stressed, so disconnected from who I was and what I needed to fill my bucket. The summer days felt exhausting, and I didn't understand why. I kept thinking, "The kids aren't in school, I should be enjoying summer," but I dreaded it. I was patiently waiting for fall to hit so the kids would go back to school, we'd return to normal routines, and I'd have quiet time to prioritize self-care. What I eventually realized was that I could still prioritize myself, it just had to come at a different time of day than when the kids were in school.

This experience taught me something crucial: mental load doesn't take a summer vacation. For working mothers, it actually intensifies, and the stakes feel higher than ever.

The Reality Behind "Easier" Summer

Summer may look more relaxed on the surface, but for working mothers, it often creates what I call the "summer squeeze", more personal logistics to manage while professional expectations remain unchanged.

While you're coordinating camp schedules around client meetings and managing pickup logistics between calls, your colleagues without children are taking on visible projects and building relationships. The result? You're working harder than ever, but it's largely invisible work that doesn't advance your career.

You're likely managing situations like:

• Camp schedules that conflict with your most important meetings.
• Backup childcare arrangements when regular options aren't available.
• The mental energy required to appear "seamlessly professional" while juggling summer chaos.
• Missing networking opportunities because of evening activity commitments.
• Taking work calls from the camp parking lot.

This summer squeeze becomes especially intense during what I call the "transition weeks." I usually feel it most during those in-between periods, when school has ended but camp hasn't started, or when camp has ended but school hasn't begun. You have this week or two where the kids are home, you've got nothing scheduled for them, no daycare, and they're just on top of you wanting attention, wanting snacks, watching what feels like too much screen time, all while you're navigating work deadlines and projects.

While I don't think I've ever had to completely abandon a work project because my kids were home, I've definitely felt those familiar pangs of "I should've just taken this week off" or "Why didn't I schedule something for the kids? They're going to be so bored, and I'm never going to get through this week managing both work and kids." These moments reveal how the mental complexity of summer doesn't actually decrease, it shifts and often multiplies. Here's why your brain feels this so intensely:

The Science Behind Summer Mental Overload

To understand why summer feels so cognitively demanding, we can look to Cognitive Load Theory. Developed by educational psychologist John Sweller, this theory shows that our brains have limited capacity for processing information. When that capacity is consistently maxed out by planning, coordinating, and decision-making, we experience mental fatigue that directly impacts our performance, both personally and professionally.

Think of your brain like a computer running too many programs at once. Summer doesn't close existing applications; it opens new ones:

• Which camps align with work schedules?
• What's the backup plan when childcare falls through?
• How do I maintain client relationships while managing increased family demands?
• Can I take on that stretch assignment if summer logistics are already overwhelming?

A 2021 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that people carrying high mental loads showed decreased cognitive performance and significantly higher emotional exhaustion. Additional research from Harvard Business Review shows that this cognitive overload particularly impacts women in leadership roles, who report 23% higher stress levels during school breaks while maintaining identical professional output expectations. For working mothers, this creates a particularly challenging cycle during summer months.

Understanding Mental Load vs. Energy Drain

It's helpful to distinguish between mental load (the cognitive weight of invisible coordination) and energy drain (the emotional and physical toll of managing that load while maintaining professional standards).

Mental load includes all those background processes: remembering, planning, anticipating needs, coordinating schedules. Energy drain is what happens when you're running those processes constantly while also trying to show up fully at work.

The two feed each other. High mental load reduces your capacity for strategic thinking and creativity at work. The pressure to perform professionally despite internal chaos creates additional stress that further depletes your mental resources.

Your Summer Strategy: Practical Steps That Actually Work

If you're feeling the summer squeeze, here's a research-backed approach that acknowledges both the need for systems and the reality of constant adjustments:

1. Make the Invisible Visible

Start by documenting what you're actually managing:

• Track your mental tabs: For one week, jot down every summer-related task you think about or coordinate.
• Note the work impact: When do summer logistics interrupt or compromise your professional focus?
• Identify patterns: Are there specific times, days, or types of conflicts that consistently drain you?

This tracking exercise can be eye-opening. When I started documenting my own mental load, I was shocked to realize how many things I was saying yes to that were making me say no to more important priorities, like quality time with my family and kids, while also draining the life out of me. The awareness was the first step toward change. Once I finally realized I could say no and built up the courage to create boundaries, I stopped giving my time and energy away to commitments that didn't fill my bucket or positively impact my kids.

The key insight? You can't manage what you can't see, and most of our mental load operates in the shadows of our consciousness.

Real-world note: Don't aim for a perfect tracking system. Even a rough list on your phone will reveal patterns you haven't noticed.

2. Apply the "Three Buckets" Method

Cognitive research shows our brains work better when we categorize rather than juggle everything simultaneously:

• Now: What actually needs your immediate attention?
• Later: What can be scheduled for a specific time when you have bandwidth?
• Not Mine: What can be delegated, shared, or eliminated entirely?

This method has become my lifeline. I use this approach with everything as part of my weekly brain dump routine. Every Monday morning, I look at everything on my plate and systematically sort it: What needs my immediate attention this week? What can be scheduled for later when I have more bandwidth? And what can I pass off to someone else? I ask myself: What can I delegate to my husband? What can I ask my kids to do for themselves? Where can I align my priorities at work with my boss's priorities? Where can I tell people that something just isn't going to happen this week?

This systematic approach transforms overwhelming chaos into manageable categories, giving your brain permission to focus on one bucket at a time rather than spinning through everything simultaneously. The beauty of this system? It's designed to evolve. Your first week of sorting will look different from your fourth week, and that's exactly how it should work.

Trial and error tip: Your first sorting won't be perfect. Some "Later" items will become urgent, and some "Not Mine" tasks will bounce back. That's normal, adjust as you learn what actually works.

3. Protect Your Professional Energy

Summer logistics don't have to derail your career momentum:

• Batch family coordination: Handle camp communications and logistics during specific time blocks, not throughout your workday.
• Communicate proactively: Let key colleagues know your summer schedule constraints early, without over-explaining personal details.
• Choose strategic visibility: Focus on fewer, higher-impact professional activities rather than trying to maintain everything. Maybe it's volunteering to lead that virtual project that doesn't require travel, or scheduling coffee chats during lunch instead of evening networking events.
• Plan important conversations: Schedule crucial work discussions for times when you can be fully present.

Experimentation encouraged: Try different approaches to see what maintains your professional presence without burning you out. Some strategies will work better than others for your specific situation.

4. Create Recovery Rhythms

Research shows that managing high cognitive load requires intentional restoration:

• Micro-breaks: Even 5-10 minutes of quiet can interrupt the overwhelm cycle.
• Energy mapping: Notice when summer demands most impact your work effectiveness, and build in buffer time.
• Boundary setting: Establish "family logistics time" separate from "focused work time" when possible.

Learning through experience: Your energy patterns may shift throughout summer. Stay flexible and adjust based on what you're actually experiencing, not what you think should work.

5. Let Go of the Perfect Summer Myth

The pressure to create Instagram-worthy summer experiences is real, but it's also exhausting:

• Focus on connection over perfection: Kids remember feeling loved and seen, not elaborate activities.
• Embrace "good enough": Simple pleasures often create the most meaningful memories.
• Model sustainability: Show your family that managing your energy isn't selfish—it's necessary.

I practice "good enough" all the time when it comes to my house. My house feels like a cluttered mess to me, toys everywhere, dog toys everywhere, blankets everywhere, pillows from the couch always on the floor. My dad tells me all the time it just looks like a family is living there, but I always feel like it's cluttered. I've gotten to a point in my life where I realize I have young kids and a dog, and my house is going to be good enough. If someone doesn't like it, they don't need to come into my house.

Permission to experiment: Try saying no to some activities, choosing easier options, or delegating planning. Notice how your family actually responds (often more positively than expected).

Moving Forward with Intention

Mental load doesn't disappear during summer, it often intensifies when we expect relief but find ourselves coordinating even more behind the scenes. However, with awareness, strategic choices, and permission to prioritize your own sustainability, you can navigate summer without sacrificing your well-being or professional momentum. Your career aspirations don't need to hibernate during summer, they just need different strategies.

A couple of summers ago, I decided to just let go of perfection. If my kids didn't get a summer vacation that year, that was okay. If they didn't have what I thought was the perfect summer, as long as they were happy and smiling and laughing, that's all that mattered. They didn't get perfect lunchboxes or perfect dinners. We didn't spend every evening outside. One summer, I don't even think we took a family vacation, and I learned that it's okay. At the end of the day, as long as they have present parents who love them and they're engaged in activities that fill their bucket, life is good.

The goal isn't to eliminate all summer complexity (impossible) but to manage it more consciously and distribute it more fairly. Your career and your energy matter too.

Your next step: Choose one insight from tracking your mental load that you can act on this week. Maybe it's delegating one coordination task, batching camp communications, or having a proactive conversation with your manager about summer flexibility.

For the researchers among you: Start with the tracking exercise, data will guide your best decisions.

For the experimenters: Pick the strategy that feels most doable and commit to testing it for one week.

Start small, but start. Summer doesn't have to mean career pause or complete exhaustion.

What's one mental load item you can shift off your plate today?

Let's begin there.

With love,
Erin