Reflection: What Served You This Year (And What Didn't)

Autumn is here. I look out my window in the northeast, and the trees are already doing their work, assessing what they need to keep and preparing to shed what they don't. The leaves are changing colors, getting ready to fall. Squirrels are harvesting their nuts, stocking up for winter. Everything in nature is pausing, taking inventory, and aligning internally with what's happening externally.

And I can't help but think: shouldn't we do the same?

Nature reminds us that it's okay to slow down, to retreat inward and assess the year behind us. As author Lydia Millen writes in her book Evergreen, autumn reminds us that change is healthy, that life is fluid, and that it's okay, necessary, even, to let go of anything that holds us back. The trees don't overthink it. They're bold in their release, dropping leaves without hesitation. We can be that bold too.

October always calls to me for a few reasons. For one, it marks the last 90 days of the year, a final sprint to finish what we started. But more than that, it's autumn in North America, and nature is literally showing us how to let go. The trees don't agonize over which leaves to release. They just do it. They prepare for what's next by releasing what no longer serves them.

So this fall, I'm using this time to pause and do the same work myself. How can I align myself internally to what I see externally? How can I match the patterns of fall and prepare myself for what's ahead? Autumn continues to remind us to keep learning about ourselves and to lean into who we truly are.

Slow Down to Speed Up

It sounds counterintuitive, doesn't it? In a world that glorifies the hustle, suggesting that you slow down to become more productive feels almost rebellious. But here's the truth: our culture of constant busyness is actually making us less effective, not more.

When we're always moving at full speed, we never give our brains the chance to consolidate what we've learned, process our experiences, or tap into creative thinking. We're so busy doing that we forget the power of being.

Research backs this up in powerful ways. A Harvard Business Review study of 343 businesses found that companies embracing the "slow down to speed up" philosophy saw dramatic results: 40% higher sales and 52% higher operating profits over a three-year period compared to companies that maintained a relentless pace.

And it's not just about business outcomes. A 2022 study published by the American Psychological Association found that taking short pauses throughout your workday can boost your well-being, focus, and productivity. Our brains aren't designed for marathon sprints, they perform optimally when we work at a steadier pace and allow moments of rest.

Even tech giants like Google understand this. Despite their demanding work environments, they actively promote mindfulness techniques, offering guided meditations during working hours, silent lunches, and quiet rooms specifically designed to give employees mental breathing space.

Think about it: when you're frantically rushing from one task to another, how often do you make mistakes? How often do you have to redo work because you missed something important? How many brilliant ideas never surface because your mind is too cluttered to let them through?

This autumn, as nature shows us the wisdom of pausing and preparing, consider this your permission slip to slow down. Not because you're lazy or unambitious, but because slowing down is the smartest, most strategic thing you can do for your productivity and well-being.

The Power of Honest Assessment

Let’s be honest: reflection can feel scary.

Looking back on the past year means confronting the goals you set for yourself in January. Did you make any movement on them? If not, what held you back? And in what ways is that not serving you? Beyond the goals, maybe this year was just... hard. Maybe someone in your family or you yourself battled a health issue. Maybe you didn't get that promotion at work. Maybe your business didn't hit the revenue you worked so hard for. Maybe you launched something and no one bought it.

The thought of sitting with all of that can feel overwhelming.

But here's what I've realized: reflection is scary and change is hard, especially when we release what's no longer serving us. We're showing up for ourselves in a way we haven't done before. That can be really uncomfortable. It can be scary. It can be painful at times. But if we know it's important, if we know it's what needs to be done for us to show up authentically as ourselves and to live our values, then we can do it. As Glennon Doyle reminds us: we can do hard things.

Here's what research tells us: we actually need this. According to a study from Harvard Business School, taking time to reflect on our work improves job performance in the long run. The researchers found that workers who engaged in reflection increased their performance by 22.8% compared to those who didn't reflect at all. And those who not only reflected but also shared their reflections with others? They performed 25% better.

You know what that means? It means reflection is key to being able to improve our behavior and habits around the goals that align with our values. Without taking the time to pause and look back, we can't make meaningful changes moving forward.

The key though, is creating a judgment-free zone for honest evaluation. This isn't about beating yourself up. It's about understanding where you've been so you can pivot forward.

Growth-Based vs. Guilt-Based Reflection

There's a massive difference between these two approaches, guilt-based reflection and growth-based reflection:

Guilt-based reflection sounds like: "I'm such a failure. I set all these goals and accomplished nothing. What's wrong with me?"

Growth-based reflection sounds like: "I set ambitious goals this year. I made progress on some but not others. What can I learn from this? What held me back? What did I do well?"

Psychologists have found that reflection can reinforce learning, deepen self-awareness, and enhance emotional regulation, all of which are key to sustained personal and professional growth. When we pause to reflect, we activate what psychologists call "metacognition," or thinking about our thinking. This self-reflective process allows us to understand not only what we achieved but also how we approached our goals, dealt with challenges, and interacted with others.

The difference between guilt and growth is everything. One keeps you stuck. The other moves you forward. Which do you prefer? I don't know about you, but I want to continue to move forward!

What Has Actually Served You?

Now that you're in that judgment-free zone, let's get specific. I want you to identify the patterns, habits, and commitments that genuinely supported your well-being and your goals this year.

Ask yourself:

• What energized you?
• What aligned with your values?
• What brought you closer to your goals?
• What filled your bucket?

For me, one of my goals was to spend more quality time with my husband, Andy. As I reflect back on this past year, we were able to take a few long weekend trips away from the kids. I could feel guilty about being away from the kids, or I could look at that time and recognize that it really served us. It served our marriage. It was money well spent and time well spent. We had a really great time, and honestly? We came home better parents because of it.

From a psychological perspective, acknowledging our wins activates the brain's reward pathways, releasing dopamine, which can reinforce motivation. So celebrate what worked, even the small things. Write them down. Honor them. Let them fuel you.

What's Been Draining Your Energy?

Now for the harder part: what's been draining you?

As working moms, there are so many common energy drains:

• Perfectionism
• Overcommitment
• Comparison (hello, social media)
• Guilt cycles
• Not being able to let go
• Not asking for help

These can be both physical and emotional drains. And here's the tricky part: many of these things seem productive, but they're not sustainable.

For me, I want to get into coaching. I've shared this dream for years, but as a corporate working mom, I've been chipping away at it little by little. This year, I finally started this blog (which you're reading!), and I told myself I would show up on social media to share my writing.

And you know what? I was doing it. But I was also finding that social media was draining the absolute crap out of me. I love writing this blog. I love sitting down and putting my thoughts into words. But posting on social media? I don't like going on there. I don't like posting things. I don't like having to navigate and socialize in that way. I know it's all part of "the process," but looking back on that time, I don't regret trying it, but it was definitely not sustainable.

Really think about the hidden cost of these drains. They might feel productive in the moment, but are they truly serving you long-term?

Creating Your "Keep/Release" List

So you've reflected on what served you and what drained you. Now it's time to get practical and create a Keep/Release list.

In Evergreen, Lydia Millen reminds us that taking this transitionary season of autumn shows us that change is necessary, and it can even be exciting. Just as the trees shed their leaves to preserve their energy, we can let go of anything and anyone that is holding us back. And here's the thing: we can take comfort in the fact that transformation isn't supposed to be comfortable. As Millen writes, the trees probably don't particularly enjoy shedding their leaves each year, but it's vital for their survival and strength long-term. So even if we find ourselves feeling reluctant to let go or lean into whatever has piqued our interest, we can remind ourselves of the benefits of why we're doing it.

Go through your current commitments and habits, and ask yourself these questions:

• Does this align with my values?
• Does this energize or drain me?
• Can I sustain this long-term?

Then make some honest decisions.

Example of something to RELEASE: "This aligns with my values: No. Does this drain me? Yes. Can I sustain this long-term? Probably not. Do I need to be doing this? Probably not."

Example of something to KEEP: "This is a really great habit I created to prioritize my health and well-being. It does align with my values. It may drain me sometimes, but for the most part, the overall feeling energizes me. Can I sustain this long-term? Yes, and it's important to me. We're keeping it."

Just like the trees, we need to analyze: What do I need to keep o stay aligned to my core values? And what do I need to release?

Your Action Steps

Taking the time this fall to get in alignment with what your true values are is essential. If you're feeling out of alignment, reflection is the path back.

Here's your challenge this week:

Spend 15 minutes journaling on these prompts:

1. Looking back on this past year, what am I most proud of? What brought me joy?
2. What goals did I set for myself in January? Did I make progress on them? If not, what held me back?
3. What patterns, habits, or commitments genuinely supported my well-being this year?
4. What has been draining my energy? What felt productive but wasn't sustainable?
5. Looking at my current commitments and habits, what should I keep and what should I release?

Remember: reflection shouldn't be reserved for just the end of the year. Research shows that a habit of ongoing reflection reinforces continuous improvement and keeps your development aligned with your evolving goals and circumstances.

So as the trees shed their leaves and the squirrels prepare for winter, ask yourself: What do you need to release? And what do you need to carry forward?

Nature is showing us the way. We just need to be bold enough to follow.

With love,

Erin

References:

Di Stefano, G., Gino, F., Pisano, G., & Staats, B. (2016). Learning by Thinking: How Reflection Aids Performance. Harvard Business School Working Paper. Retrieved from https://mentorloop.com/blog/reflection-improves-career-performance/

Armstrong, P. (2025, January). How to turn 2024 reflection into 2025 development. NFP Consulting. Retrieved from https://www.nfp.co.uk/media/insights/personal-and-professional-growth-how-to-turn-2024-reflection-into-2025-development/

Harvard Business Review. (2010). Need for Speed? Slow Down. Study of 343 businesses on "slow down to speed up" philosophy. Referenced in Sunsama Blog. Retrieved from https://www.sunsama.com/blog/ways-to-slow-down

American Psychological Association. (2022). Research on short pauses throughout workday boosting well-being, focus, and productivity. Referenced in Sunsama Blog. Retrieved from https://www.sunsama.com/blog/ways-to-slow-down

Doyle, G. We Can Do Hard Things (podcast/book reference).

Millen, L. Evergreen.