How to Get the Holiday Mental Load Out of Your Head (Before It's Too Late)

Last week, I shared why September is my real new year. Today, I'm pulling back the curtain on the exact process that transformed my holiday season from stress-fest to something I actually look forward to.

It all starts with getting everything out of your head.

The Problem with Keeping It All Mental

When everything lives in our heads, it feels overwhelming because our brains aren't great at organizing or prioritizing, they're just great at reminding us we're forgetting something (usually at 2 AM).

The mental load of the holiday season doesn't just include the obvious stuff like gift buying. It includes:

• Remembering who you need to buy for.
• Tracking what each person might want.
• Coordinating schedules for parties and events.
• Managing your budget across multiple celebrations.
• Planning meals and hosting details.
• Keeping track of school events, fundraisers, and deadlines.
• Balancing work demands with family traditions.

No wonder we feel exhausted before December even arrives.

My September Brain Dump Process

Step 1: The Master Holiday Load List

In early September, I sit down with a notebook and get it ALL out of my head:

People & Gifts:

• Who I buy gifts for (I list about 15 people).
• Gift ideas I've been collecting throughout the year.
• Teacher and service provider gifts.
• Santa gifts and stocking stuffers.

Events & Hosting:

• What events I'm hosting (Christmas Eve dinner).
• What events we'll attend (birthday parties, school events).
• Holiday traditions that matter to our family.
• Birthday celebrations (both boys in December!).

Financial Commitments:

• Community donations we want to make.
• Holiday decorating budget.
• Food and entertaining costs.
• Any travel expenses.

Everything Else:

• School fundraisers and deadlines.
• Work holiday parties or obligations.
• Holiday activities we want to do together.

Step 2: The "Not This Year" List

This is equally important. As I'm brain-dumping, I also write down what I DON'T want to do this year.

For me, holiday cards got crossed off the list years ago. They stressed me out and didn't add joy to our season. Easy no.

Your "not this year" list might include:

• Elaborate decorating that takes days to set up.
• Hosting events that drain your energy.
• Gift exchanges that feel obligatory.
• Activities that require extensive planning.

Step 3: Categorize by Month

I organize everything by when it needs attention:

• September: Mother-in-law's birthday, school fundraiser deadlines.
• October: Halloween costumes and events, start gift shopping.
• November: Thanksgiving prep, birthday party planning.
• December: All the birthdays, Christmas Eve hosting, gift wrapping.

Step 4: Mark Your Non-Negotiables

These are the things that bring you and your family genuine joy. For me:

• Decorating the house together.
• Celebrating the boys' birthdays meaningfully.
• Hosting Christmas Eve (it's our tradition).
• Being present for the little moments (cookies, cocoa, movies, lights).

Everything else is optional.

Personal Example: How This Saved Our December

Last year, when friends invited us to an elaborate light display, I could look at my list and confidently say no. We already had plenty planned, and that trip would have added stress, not joy.

But when friends invited us for spontaneous hot chocolate and cookie decorating, I could say yes because I had margin in our schedule. I knew where we stood.

Your Turn: The 20-Minute Brain Dump

Set a timer for 20 minutes and just write. Don't edit, don't organize, don't judge. Just get it all out.

Ask yourself:

• What does December usually throw at me?
• Who do I need to buy for?
• What events am I hosting or attending?
• What traditions matter most to my family?
• What usually stresses me out that I could plan for now?

Why This Works

When you can see everything on paper, you can make intentional choices about what stays and what goes. You're not reactive anymore, you're proactive.

This isn't about creating more pressure. It's about claiming your power to design the season you actually want.

Coming Next Week

I'll share exactly how I turned this brain dump into a realistic budget that eliminates January debt and December fights. Plus, the monthly savings strategy that makes it all possible.

With love,

Erin